4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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