Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
