My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
