I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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