he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's blow job season.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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