I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
