Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
