lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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