Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
