He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
