i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
