I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
