one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
