I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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