It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
