Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
