You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i drank out of a bidet.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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