what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
