I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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