3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
