remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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