Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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