Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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