the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
this is an emotional support booty call
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
