She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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