Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
