if only i could text you this smell
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just invented taco cereal.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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