So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
How does one acquire holy water?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I touched a dick in church today
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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