I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
its liver damage thursday
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
