Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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