its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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