He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
