the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
