watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
