No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
