great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
