Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
