so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
