Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
