Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
