i will never coherently bang her
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
