Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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