I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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