Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
