I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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