yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
