quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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