I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
