I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
