Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
