so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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