Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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