Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
