i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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