you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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