i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
