Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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